My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
