that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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