I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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