Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
