If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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