No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
