the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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