I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
