so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
