I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
