Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
