Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
