names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
