Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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