Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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