Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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