i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
