I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
