do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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