Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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