Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
