like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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