doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
