she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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