I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want to make out with him forever
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
