Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
