I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
