Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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