I want to have your abortion
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
