i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
