Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
