This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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