Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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