3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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