I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
