yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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