Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
