i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
