Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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