did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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