Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
