Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
