So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
