His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
