you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
