Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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