you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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