True but thats because hes a fetus.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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