all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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