the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We need a shit load of segways right now
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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