New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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