Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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