Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
