so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
