Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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