What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
