i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
