I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
