Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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