Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
