he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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