So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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