I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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