i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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