just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
