I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
vagina is talking i cant
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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