he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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